you know i'm always going to love you
by stydiia
Summary: post-nogitsune. lydia is fighting her feelings for stiles, and it isn't really working. sorry for the shit ending.


Lydia had been fighting her ever-growing feelings for Stiles ever since she kissed him to stop his panic attack. She wasn't sure at all how to deal with them, so she kept them bottled up for a really long time.

But lately, she always seemed to be on the verge of telling him about her feelings. Like when Stiles was back to being just him, no Nogitsune, and he told her about what happened while he was void, including what happened with Malia. She felt her heart shatter a little. She wanted to smack him and then kiss him, but she just nodded and kept listening to him.

And also when they finally beat the Nogitsune. Her heart was beating so fast that night, partially because it was a scary situation, but also because her and Stiles were basically attached at the hip the whole night. And she loved the way his arms felt around her. She wanted so badly to just finally turn and face him and kiss him again, but she just... couldn't. Later, though, she had went to his house to mourn Allison and Aidan. She needed to talk to Stiles about how proud she was. She needed to say so many things. It was really late, but she needed him.

_"Lydia?" Stiles asked, looking like he'd just seen a ghost. He looked like he still hadn't gotten any sleep. __He was probably surprised, since he never would have thought Lydia would ever show up at his house at 2 AM. _

_She finally made eye contact with him after looking down at the doormat for a few seconds. She stepped into the house and shut the door. She walked towards Stiles and threw her arms around him. He returned the gesture, holding her tight, rubbing her back a little. He always hugged her like it was going to be his last time ever doing so. He would never not love the feeling of her head resting against his chest, her arms wrapped around his waist._

_Stiles could feel Lydia's head moving a little. He heard her crying a little bit. He pulled back slightly, and he looked her in the eyes._

_They walked upstairs to his room and Stiles shut the door quietly, making sure not to wake up his dad. Lydia sat down on the bed and he joined her, putting his arm around her. He just looked at her for a while. He couldn't help but admire how she still managed to look stunning even while crying. No one looked good crying. But Lydia Martin was an exception. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking concerned._

_"Everything," she sniffed. "Everything is wrong. Allison is dead. My best friend. Dead. I'll never see her again. I'll never vent to her again. Aidan is dead. I mean, he wasn't the nicest guy, but it's still terrible. And you had to go through all of that stuff. You didn't deserve it. You don't deserve any of those bad things happening to you. Do you know how great you are?" Lydia was rambling now. She couldn't stop. "You've helped me so much, whether it was to save my life or if I was emotionally wrecked, and I can't ever thank you enough. You always figure things out. If anything, you only deserve good things happening to you," she had to take a big breath after all that talking. _

_She suddenly felt like an idiot. She shouldn't have gone that far with the compliments. He looked freaked out. Or was that shocked?_

_"Lydia," he whispered. "You- you never fail to amaze me, you know that? Do you know how many times you've helped _me_? I mean, you couldn't help that all those things happened to me. But you helped me get through it. Along with everyone else. And I'm better now. So, you don't need to thank me at all. I should be thanking you."_

_She just stared at him. She was so, so in love with him. She had to get out._

_"I..." she couldn't get the words out. "Have... to go..." She was breathing fast, she felt like she was gonna have a panic attack._

_Stiles started to say something, but she bolted. She ran out the door and drove home. She felt like such a terrible person. How was she gonna explain this?_

It had been 1 week since that happened. And she had avoided him ever since.

The bell just rang, finally letting the students know they could leave school for the day. Lydia needed to talk to someone. Now. She found Kira by her locker and walked up to her. She knew she would understand what's going on.

"Hey!" Kira exclaimed. Kira always seemed to be in a happy mood. Probably because of Scott, who was right beside her. They were awfully cute together.

"I have to tell you guys something in private," Lydia said frantically. Scott's eyes widened. He knew that face. She used it a lot when she was panicking about a certain someone.

"U-uh yeah, that's fine... let's go," Kira said, stuttering a little.

They found a dark, empty classroom that no one ever really went in, ever. They had no idea why it was still there, but it was.

Lydia shut the door and whipped around.

"I'minlovewithstiles," she said, rushing her words together.

"What?" Scott asked. "Say that again, slowly. I have no idea what the hell you just said."

"I'm in love with Stiles," she mumbled.

Kira's eyes widened. Scott grinned.

"Well, it's about damn time," he said.

Lydia sighed. "I just don't know what to do. I haven't talked to him in a week."

"Why?" Kira and Scott asked at the same time. They turned to face each other and high-fived. Lydia rolled her eyes. She loved them, but they were massive dorks.

She explained to them what happened that night they fought the Nogitsune, and why she left.

"Lydia, you need to tell him," Kira said. "Like, as soon as possible," she added. Scott nodded in agreement.

"But how? He's probably mad that I bolted," Lydia groaned.

"Still talk to him. He loves you a lot, I'm sure he'll understand," Scott told her.

"But-" Lydia protested.

"GO," Scott said, opening the door.

Lydia didn't go to Stiles' locker like Scott and Kira told her to. She just packed her stuff into her backpack and went home. She had no idea what she was supposed to do.

At 2 AM, though, she knew. She sighed. It's always late at night when she makes possibly life-changing decisions. She's only wearing a tank top and underwear for pajamas, so she puts on sweatpants and a random shirt and tiptoes downstairs, hoping her mother won't wake up. She grabs her keys and goes out the front door, making sure she locks it. When she got outside, she realized it was pouring. Great. She hurries into her car and drives.

She pulls up into Stiles' driveway and gets out of the car. She notices his dad's car was gone. Must be something involving his job. She continues walking to the front door, and knocks twice.

Stiles was up late, as well. He hadn't been getting much sleep lately, 4 hours at the most. His dad usually checked in on him, but his dad wasn't home. Stiles wasn't sure if he liked being home alone or not. He liked the sense of freedom, but he didn't like that his dad wasn't there to protect him if anything bad were to happen.

When he heard the doorbell ring, he felt a slight sense of deja vu. Someone had been at his door a little over a week ago, but it couldn't be them. She hadn't talked to him since.

He gets up and grabs a bat- hey, this person could be a serial killer for all we know. He opens the door slowly and drops the bat.

This person was far too beautiful to be a serial killer.

"Hi," Lydia whispered. "Can we talk?" she asked. Stiles lets her in and then closes the door.

"I don't know, Lydia, can we? Because you haven't made any attempts to talk to me for over a damn week." he says. He realizes how harsh he sounds and immediately feels terrible.

His words stung. He sounded angry, but there was a look of hurt on his face.

"Stiles, I'm so-" Lydia begins to say, but Stiles cuts her off.

"Why did you do it? Why did you leave? Why did you stop talking to me? Even when I tried to talk to you, you ignored me. Do you know how much that hurt me, Lydia?" He shouted. That scared Lydia a little bit. Stiles didn't get this mad too often.

"I didn't try to hurt you," she said quietly.

"Really? Did you know how much I needed you some days? You and Scott are the only people I trust with my life, and Scott is busy with Kira, and you don't even talk to me anymore. You used to talk to me every day. Even when you weren't in a good mood, you would talk to me about it. So what did I do? I need to know, please," Stiles said, sounding desperate.

"I left because I was going to probably to drive myself insane if I didn't," she said. She was trying hard not to yell, but it didn't work.

"Why? What did I even do to you, Lydia?" Stiles asked, sounding mad and genuinely curious at the same time.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, STILES!" she shouted. "I'm in love with you, and it scares me. That night, I was trying so hard not to tell you, so I had to leave. That's why I left. I'm so in love with you, it hurts. I didn't talk to you because I felt like the only thing I would say to you is 'I love you.' I'm scared because I'm worried that if we get together, it won't work out. I'm worried that you like Malia." She paused. "And for a while, I was worried that you didn't even like me," she whispered.

Stiles didn't say anything for a few minutes. Lydia instantly regretted saying anything. She turned around and opened the door to get to her car.

It was still raining. She sighed. At least the weather matched her current mood.

She was about to open her car door when she felt a pair of hands whip her around. She found herself face to face with Stiles again. Or, in this case with their height difference, face to chest.

"Lydia, you know I'm always going to love you," he said.

Lydia opened her mouth to say something, but Stiles bent down and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. He kissed her with all of his might, like he would never kiss her again. She felt her knees grow weak. She put her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. He went along with it, holding her tightly.

Stiles had been waiting for that moment his whole life. The fact that they were kissing in the rain made him even happier. He kissed her with such intensity. No one had ever kissed her like that before, and she loved it. By the time she pulled back, he was still holding her. He put her down so she was standing on the ground again.

"I love you, Stiles," Lydia said again.

Stiles grinned. "I love you, too. Always have, always will."

Lydia looked down at the ground so Stiles couldn't see her smiling like an idiot.

"Come back in and stay with me. Please. I don't want you to get sick," he told her. It was more of a command than a suggestion.

"Of course," she said.

They walked back in and Stiles led her to his room. She went to lay down on the bed and he joined her, putting his arm around her waist. She could feel him breathing on her neck, and it was one of the most comforting feelings.

They were silent for a few minutes before Stiles asked the big question.

"So, are we dating now?" Stiles was grinning. Lydia turned to face him. The tip of his nose was touching hers, and she couldn't help but notice how cute he looked.

"I guess we are," Lydia said, smiling just as big as he was.

Everything was right again, and they loved it.

* * *

**THAT WAS SUCH A SHIT ENDING I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS OK THE IDEA POPPED UP INTO MY HEAD AND I HAD TO WRITE IT I HOPE U LIKED IT**


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